I wish my penis had an off switch
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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