Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
