And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
