I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
