You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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