well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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