OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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