U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
