Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
