I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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