Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
