remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
