Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
