i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
