alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
