then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
