Your face is a jimmy john
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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