i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
