Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
