I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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