am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
