I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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