That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
