Need sex. Gaining weight.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
