I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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