If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
