Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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