It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
