I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
