I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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