Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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