i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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