youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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