Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize