so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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