420 ftw
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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