does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
