my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
