no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
