So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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