yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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