brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
