have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
