we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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