I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
