Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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