what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
