I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
