I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
