And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
