i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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