and you said cock pushups were impossible
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
