The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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