Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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