Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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