this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My dick has a subreddit
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
