Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
