It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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