That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
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my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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