I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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