I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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